107. That's how many days there are until I get to marry Brad and I'm a little bit freaking out.
I second-guess every decision and obsess over details. I'm afraid to let go of things and cross them off the list. I don't know why. It could be that I just want this day to be magical and wonderful, when I know it will be flawed and still beautiful.
It could be that I have a touch of cold feet. Please don't get me wrong--I want to marry Brad and make beautiful dark-haired babies and sit with him when we're 80. I wonder, though, how I know he's The One. What sets him apart? It's enough to cause a slight freak-out in anyone. Talking with Kerry helps and she's been wonderful. Since we're both getting married, she's right with me on all my freak-outs and we support each other through them. (I have lots of supportive people around me and don't want to discount them. You know who you are and I love you.)
I guess I'm finally starting to feel like a grown up. I'm getting married. We've talked about babies and mortgages. I'm 26 years old and I wonder if I'm ready to grow up. I think I'll be OK as long as Brad and I grow together and embrace the adventure we're officially starting in September.
--Melanie
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