Wednesday, June 1, 2011

One Hundred Seven

107.  That's how many days there are until I get to marry Brad and I'm a little bit freaking out.

I second-guess every decision and obsess over details.  I'm afraid to let go of things and cross them off the list.  I don't know why.  It could be that I just want this day to be magical and wonderful, when I know it will be flawed and still beautiful.

It could be that I have a touch of cold feet. Please don't get me wrong--I want to marry Brad and make beautiful dark-haired babies and sit with him when we're 80.  I wonder, though, how I know he's The One.  What sets him apart?  It's enough to cause a slight freak-out in anyone.  Talking with Kerry helps and she's been wonderful.   Since we're both getting married, she's right with me on all my freak-outs and we support each other through them.  (I have lots of supportive people around me and don't want to discount them.  You know who you are and I love you.)

I guess I'm finally starting to feel like a grown up.  I'm getting married.  We've talked about babies and mortgages.  I'm 26 years old and I wonder if I'm ready to grow up.  I think I'll be OK as long as Brad and I grow together and embrace the adventure we're officially starting in September.


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